Vietnam: Southeast Asia's Unpolished Gem

As seen in Definiti
National Magazine Award Nominee, Words & Pictures Category

 

FOR MANY, VIETNAM IS SYNONYMOUS WITH WAR. Tell someone you're planning a trip there and you can practically see vignettes from Platoon, Apocalypse Now and The Deer Hunter flash across their frightened eyes. But since joining the Association of Southeast Asian Nations in 1995, and opening its borders to travellers, this relatively undiscovered country has become one of the safest destinations in the Pacific Rim. Not to mention, one of the cheapest.

 

Cilantro-scented markets overflow with colourful silk scarves, traditional Vietnamese outfits and knock-off Western fashions for a fraction of what you would pay in Canada. Just make sure you've brushed up on your bargaining skills. Bargaining, like rice, is firmly planted in the Vietnamese culture.

In the evening, wander to the nearest street corner, pull up a child-size plastic lawn chair and sip inexpensive bia hoi (draught beer). For the thrill of saying been there, done that," party at Apocalypse Now a popular Ho Chi Minh City nightspot that plays only one kind of music: loud. Later, you can bed down and dream of dancing water puppets, an ancient Vietnamese art form. Decent accommodation is readily available throughout the country for around $12 a night.

 

From the white, sandy shores of China Beach, to cascading waterfalls and thick pine forests to the 3,143-metre peak of Fansipan, Vietnam has more to offer than steamy, sweat-inducing jungles. Like the geography, the people of Vietnam have many faces: ethnic Vietnamese, ethnic Chinese and "ethnic minorities;" the latter is a diverse group that encompasses more than 50 distinct cultures. Vietnam also has several religions including Buddhism, Confucianism, Christianity and Caodaism.

Cultural diversity aside, a common denominator amongst the Vietnamese is their sense of community, especially with regard to child care. From dawn until dusk, parents spend backbreaking hours in the rice fields, tending food stalls and sweeping hotel floors to raise money to secure higher education for their kids. Proof in point: The literacy rate in Vietnam is 93 per cent, despite an average annual income of only about $570.

 

It's a fascinating, complex country that has fought long and hard for its independence, most notably against the Chinese, French and Americans. Finally at peace for the last 11 years — after restoring diplomatic relations with Cambodia and China — the resilient and determined Vietnamese are now jock-eying to become the next crouching tiger.

 

WAR GAMES
Re-enact Jane Fonda's famous 1972 anti-war crusade by straddling an anti-aircraft gun at the Cu Chi tunnels, the country's most popular tourist attraction. The tunnels are part history, part morbid curiosity and part kitsch. BOMBS AWAY. In the town of Cu Chi alone, approximately 250 kilometres of winding tunnels were bored through the earth creating several levels with sleeping quarters, infirmaries, kitchens with cooking hearths and strategically placed booby traps made of razor-sharp bamboo poles. Today you can crawl on all fours through earthen packed tunnels breathing the fetid, still air. If you have claustrophobia, forget it. At just over one metre high and 8o centimetres across, these tunnels have actually been widened to accommodate broader North American girths. When you resurface from the under-world, take a deep breath and consider this: During the Vietnam War, as many as i6,000 people lived in the tunnels, often for months at a time. At one point, an American base camp was unknowingly stationed above. It took the U.S. army several months to figure out where the gunshots were coming from, as they slept in their tents at night. After that, the Americans treated the district of Cu Chi as a bomb-dropping-napalm-spraying free-for-all zone. The interactive experience becomes surreal, bordering on bizarre, as you walk through a "land mine" – now a restored jungle – activating tripwires that set off fire-crackers. At the last stop on this unique tour, find out what it was like being a guerrilla by shooting an AK-47 at the rifle range.

 

COMMUNIST OF CAPITALIST?
SHOP TILL YOU DROP. As you stroll along the bustling streets of Ho Chi Minh City (formerly Saigon), the Old Quarter of Hanoi and the ancient alleys of Hoi An, street hawkers materialize from serpentine wisps of incense smoke. Standard opening lines are: "What's your name?" or "Where you from?" Items for sale range from Juicy Fruit to plagiarized Lonely Planet guidebooks and handmade conical hats inscribed on the underside with good luck poems. Items worth lugging home include sets of handmade coconut chopsticks and serving utensils, lacquerware vases and trays as well as wildly colourful paintings depicting authentic day-in-the-life scenes.

 

This is Vietnamese-style communism at work. And it looks a lot like the strong-arm tactics of commissioned sales help in a free market economy. Whether it's bottled water, fresh-from-the-oven baguettes (a culinary trend left over from the French occupation), the omnipresent T-shirt or ceramic whistles, remember to bargain. And do so with a smile. WHAT THE TOURIST BOARD WON'T TELL YOU. Three unofficial price systems are alive and well in Vietnam (from lowest to highest): Vietnamese, Viet Kieu (Vietnamese nationals living abroad) and foreigners. With each level, expect a jump in asking price by two to five times the local one. Use your judgment. But keep in mind that whatever you end up paying, it's bound to be a deal since one Canadian dollar equals $11,292 Vietnamese dong.

 

There are state-run as well as family-owned and operated hotels. Unless you feel compelled to support Uncle Ho's comrades, seek out the smaller, privately owned accommodation of the hard-working proletariat. Expect to pay as little as $io a night in a small, clean room with a fan, queen-size bed and private bath. Or fork over $375 for the best room at the Rex Hotel, a landmark in HCM City where U.S. military brass strategized during what the Vietnamese call the American War.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT
MEAT OF THE MATTER. Be forewarned: Handling of meat can be less than sanitary by our standards. You see freshly butchered meat laid out on tables in the broiling sun, live geese hanging by their feet from bike handlebars on their last journey to the markets and even dead hogs slung over the back seat of motor-bikes. Special note to dog lovers: if you travel in the north you will see dogs in cages at the entrances of restaurants with signs that read "Thit Cho." Unfortunately, these dogs are not waiting to eat. They are waiting to be eaten. Thit Cho means dog meat.

 

SURVIVAL SKILLS AND SCAMS
Violent crime in Vietnam is rare, says Canadian Department of Foreign Affairs and International Trade spokesperson Reynald Doiron. Of greater concern are traffic accidents and petty theft. FROGGER RULES. Remember the video game Frogger where you strategically guide a smiling amphibian across a busy highway? Before attempting a road crossing in Vietnam, with hordes of honking motorbikes, cyclos (bicycle taxis) and cars, bellow the following in your best Helen Reddy voice: "I am frogger, hear me croak!" Like the little green guy, stride strategically through a sea of exhaust fumes and choking traffic. The drivers will swerve around you. Tip: Use little old ladies balancing baskets of limes as blockers. Also watch for bag and camera bandits as well as pickpockets, especially in larger cities like HCM and Hanoi. DOUBT THE TOUT. In urban areas it is not uncommon to get "hijacked" by hotel touts as you ride into town by bus or train. A tout is a well-dressed guy who acts as a broker for one or several establishments. His mission? Book you at a hotel he represents, thereby securing a commission. Everyone has to make a living, and sometimes it's not a bad deal. But touts can be very aggressive. If they are upsetting you, tell them so and walk away. WOMEN TRAVELLERS. Unlike some other countries, Vietnam is generally hassle-free for women, whether travelling alone or in a group. Tip for young single women: When you're asked if you're married – and you will be – just answer with an affirmative; casually point off into the distance and say, "He's over there." Same rule applies for girls travelling with guys. Tell them you're married, even if you aren't. When they ask if you have kids – and they will – simply respond, "We're working on it." PRICE FIXING. Agree on a price first – whether you're jumping into a taxi or boat, taking a motorbike ride or sitting down for a meal (many restaurants don't bother listing prices).

 

THE REAL DEAL
If hanging out with other Westerners at cafes and joining herds on organized tours feels too manufactured, get off the beaten track. IT'S HIP TO BE SQUARE. In Dalat, a mountainous hill station in Vietnam's central highlands, grab a bag of a local specialty – chewy, dried strawberries sprinkled with sugar – and sit back for an evening of people watching. Just as North American families gather around the TV, Vietnamese families congregate in the town square. You can almost be guaranteed that someone will approach, either with the intention of selling you something or to practise English.

 

SLEEP IN A STILT HOUSE. Mai Chau, a rural area in the northwest, offers accommodations with ethnic Thai families. With a mosquito net hung over your mattress like a canopy and views of emerald rice paddies and majestic mountains, the experience is downright magical. Hire a "guide" – often the youngest male in the family – to take you for a hike through fields dotted with rice pickers and water buffalo. In the evening, you can watch traditional singing and dancing, and even participate if you wish. PLAY CHARADES. After orientating yourself to an area, find a restaurant that doesn't cater to Western tastes. You can tell you've stumbled upon one when the menus are available only in Vietnamese. Bring a phrasebook to help you order or just point to the food displayed (often you see a selection displayed under glass).

 

DON'T LEAVE VIETNAM WITHOUT...
1. GETTING A MASSAGE BY A BLIND MASSEUSE AT THE VIETNAMESE TRADITIONAL MEDICINE INSTITUTE IN HCM CITY. Fork over about $3 for an hour-long massage that kneads all the kinks out of your backpack-laden spine. You'll be lulled to sleep by whirling ceiling fans and buzzing street noise from below.

 

2. FLOATING IN A WOOD-EN BOAT THROUGH THE MEKONG DELTA. Get there early and you glide right through the floating market, where delta dwellers buy and sell all kinds of local goods like lychees, durian (a large, green fruit with spikes on the outside and foul-smelling flesh on the inside), bok choy, butter beans, rice and coconut candy.

 

3. HIRING A MOTORBIKE AND DRIVER. Guides with "motos" hover in streets of just about every town, looking to whisk you around for a day of sightseeing. An ingenious marketing technique is to show you their guest books filled with comments and photos of other travellers. They make a point of flipping to a page with scribbles by Canadians, just to make you feel more at home. This is your chance to size them up. Depending on language skills, some simply drive you around and drop you off. Pay the extra bucks and get someone well versed in your mother tongue. You get a great ride and if you're lucky, the inside scoop on life in a communist country.

 

4. BUYING CUSTOM CLOTHES IN H0I AN. This spectacularly beautiful riverside town, with ancient buildings in canary yellow and candyfloss pink, offers an amazing array of tailors who custom-make anything you want. Pick the latest fashions from stacks of Vogue: flared dress pants for $I2, a form-fitting silk shirt for $ii and a Chinese silk jacket with matching pants for $28.

 

5. TREKKING THROUGH THE NORTHWEST. Possibly the most untouched area of Vietnam, the northwest tour offers up-close-and-personal experiences with minority hill tribes like the Dao, who practise traditional Chinese-influenced medicine, and the H'mong, who are known for growing opium among other crops. The roads leading to the northwest villages, including Lai Chau, Mai Chau, Son La and Sapa, are treacherous. One of the best ways to navigate over boulders the size of Volkswagen Beetles is to hire a Russian army Jeep and driver... and have a strong stomach.

 

6. KAYAKING IN HALONG BAY. Breathtaking Halong Bay, where craggy rock formations and grottos burst from the ocean depths and rise to neck-craning heights, is designated as an UNESCO World Heritage Site. Scenes from Indochine – the 1992 Oscar winner for best foreign language film – starring Catherine Deneuve, were shot here.

 

THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO HMMM
Vietnam is full of strange sites and crazy customs. DEAD ANCESTORS GIVE GOOD LUCK. Driving along the roads outside HCM City, you see rice paddies that unfurl like endless green carpets, punctuated by bright white tombs that practically glow in the intense light of a cloudless blue sky. Until the government put the kibosh on this popular custom, it was believed that deceased ancestors over-looking paddies brought good luck to future harvests.

 

HOTEL RULES. Pasted on the inside of most hotel rooms you will find a list of rules. What makes this worthy of mention is that along with check-in and checkout times, the Vietnamese include the following for good measure: "No explosives, stinking things or even prostitutes are allowed in the hotel."

 

CREATIVE SALES TACTICS. If you're negotiating for custom clothes or surfing at one of the many Internet cafes, don't be surprised if a smiling Vietnamese woman starts massaging your shoulders or playing with your hair. After kneading the knots in your back and possibly making a few in your locks, you are handed a business card with her contact information and occupation: aesthetician. It's probably a great deal, but if you're not interested, smile and politely decline.

 

SWISH IT, WHIP IT AND SIP IT. The Vietnamese really like their tea and coffee. When social gatherings take place, which they often do, you are poured a thimble of tea. What's unusual about this custom is that they don't seem to waste time washing the tiny teacups. Instead, they grab a used cup off the table, pour in some fresh tea, swish it around and whip it out. Clean as a whistle. Want some? Fortunately, coffee customs appear to be more hygienic. Vietnamese coffee, by the way, is like dessert: thick as melted chocolate and served with a dollop of condensed milk.

 

CLUCKING USELESS. Seventeen kilometres out-side of Dalat sits a speck of a town called Lang Con Ca, better known as Chicken Village. And yes, chickens reside here. The biggest, baddest chicken of them all is made of cold, grey concrete, rather than tender, pink flesh. Why this mammoth statue is positioned in the centre of town remains a mystery. Tourists seem to like it though.

 

FESTIVALS
Tet is a celebration of the Lunar New Year. But for the Vietnamese, it's more than singing "Auld Lang Syne" into a sticky glass of bubbly. It's reminiscent of four of our celebrations: Christmas (trees and family get-togethers), birthday parties (everyone turns one year older on this day), Halloween (celebrating the dead) and Thanksgiving (loads of food). This three-day festival often stretches into a one-week extravaganza. Hotels are booked solid weeks in advance. Tet falls between mid-January and mid-February, depending on the lunar and solar calendars. The next one begins January 22, 2004.

 

FOR MORE INFORMATION:
Generally, the best time to visit Vietnam is during the warm/dry season from December to April. For comprehensive information on Vietnam, check out vietnamtourism.com and vnnews.com.

 

GETTING THERE:
Cathay Pacific flies daily between Toronto or Vancouver, Ho Chi Minh City (Saigon) and Hanoi, with a connection in Hong Kong. Tour East Holidays (toureast.ca) offers a package to Vietnam (not including airfare), starting at $2,418 for two people.